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Mostly things I find super funny or awesome.


flies to 3 different countries in 3 mins


attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon




tell me a secret

One time during class my drama/english teacher, who’s a devout vegan and all about not killing animals, accidentally stepped on a ladybug. He froze up and slowly cradles it in his hand and he was so heartbroken and started quoting Hamlet.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was a red m&m.

I can’t breathe


i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean


cant wait for natural selection to take out slow walkers 


white lips pale face i hate the entire human race

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